Why Men Think About Infidelity

In a perfect world, there would be no infidelity. Boy meets girl, boy marries girl, they have babies and live happily ever after. However, we do not live in a perfect world. We never have, and we never will. So where does infidelity fit into all this? Untidily, that's how. Infidelity does not just happen, it's the symptom of a bad relationship, in many cases, rather than the cause.

The truth of the matter is, nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors, or what drives the unfaithful partner to their actions. Okay, some people could not have a monogamous relationship if their life depended on it, but these are the exceptions, rather than the rule. In an ordinary relationship, something happens to trigger infidelity - it doesn't usually happen of its own accord.

Just as it takes two to make a relationship, more often than not, it takes two to break it. It may be comfortable to blame the unfaithful partner for the break up, but it may not always be accurate. When it comes down to it, people will go for the easy option. Being unfaithful is not an easy option, although it may be an attractive or enticing one, if you're trapped in a bad relationship.

It takes a lot of effort to conduct an affair and to conceal the truth from your partner. If someone is prepared to go to all that trouble, it usually means one of two things: they've finally met the love of their life, or they just can't carry on with life as it is. They feel unloved and unwanted, and they've finally decided to do something to put that right.

If it's the former, nothing is going to bring the unfaithful partner back into the relationship, heart and soul. If it's the latter, it's going to take a lot of effort to get back to where you were, and it may not be achievable. This is not meant to excuse or condone infidelity - it's just an attempt to explain how and why it happens.

Everyone has a firm opinion on infidelity, until it affects them personally. Then it's not so cut and dried. We can all say what we'd do in a given situation, safe in the knowledge that - thank goodness - it doesn't apply to us. However, one day it might, and then the thinking could be totally different.

Infidelity is a fact of life, and no relationship is immune from it, or from its effects. There but for fortune go you or I. Remember that the next time the rumour mill grinds into action. When it comes to infidelity, it's rarely black and white - there could be many shades of grey in between.